STARS, holidays and madness
by Daitsuke-kun
Summary: The S.T.A.R.S. team is deciding to go on a vacation, uh-oh, occasions to be there!


Chapther I

* * *

Today it was unusually hot in the S.T.A.R.S. office. The conditioner was, unfortunately, broken, and so poor team had to strip to the minimum amount of clothes that was allowed for work, at least. Jill happily took of her uniform, remaining only in her baby blue bra and panties, and the whole office, especially Chris and Wesker, where staring at her, drooling. Especially Chris - Wesker at least had some control over himself. All men were stripped down to their shirts, but Jill seemed not to notice it as she was doing the paperwork, biting her pencil while thinking.

There were no windows in the little office, so all the members of an elite group were clearly suffering. It was the middle of July, and it was hell on earth. Especially with the broken conditioner.

"Urgh, I am SO tired..." - Jill said finally, leaving her documents and stretching. The men of S.T.A.R.S. hungirly observed her curves as she did so, and when she sat straight and looked at her comrades, everybody pretended to be looking somewhere else. Well, except maybe for Chris. And Wesker.

"I'm gonna go get some cola" - Jill stood up, heading to the exit. Chris eagerly jumped from his seat.

"I'll go help!" - he joined her. Wesker slowly stood up, fixing his sunglasses.

"I think I'll go too, I'm really thirsty" - said Wesker as he joined the duo and the trio walked out.

The tensed atmosphere in the office somewhat loosened.

Joseph threw his hands behind his neck and exhaled.

"Whew, Valentine has no modesty. - He stated, looking at his comrades, chuckling. - At all"

"Thanks, Captain Obvious" - murmured Btad from his desk sleepily.

"If Chris or Wesker have modesty, bite me" - said Richard, putting his legs on the desk.

"Where? Your ear, your neck or maybe somewhere... Lower?" - Rebecca purred in his ear, standing behind his desk. She as well took of her clothes and was now only in her green bra and panties.

Richard shrieked and accidentally nearly threw his old-fashoned computer to the floor. Luckily his reaction was better and he managed to catch it.

"Rebecca, if you scare the shit out of me like that again..." - he inhaled deeply, turning to her. Rebecca innocently blinked, pouting at him.

"Then you'll do absolutely nothing to me. - She said, massaging his shoulders. Richard uneasily growled. - Sadly"

"Rebecca, could you please..."

"Please what?.. - Rebecca purred in his ear. - I know one nice room in the R.P.D. that's empty most of the time..."

"Could you please let go off me?.."

Rebecca bit her lip.

"But Richard..."

"Rebecca, please. I'm not comfortable when you're standing that close to me."

Poor Richard, why did you have to be so honest? Rebecca smirked and bent lower, allowing her hand to trace his bare abdomen, her fingers travelling dangerously near the fly of his jeans...

Luckily, Richard was saved by Enrico Marini, the captain of BRAVO team.

"Chambers, quit throwing sexual advances at Aiken, are the blood tests ready?" - he asked impatiently, stroking his mustache. And when he was touching his moustache, everybody knew he was impatient.

"N-no, but they're almost ready!" - squeaked Rebecca as she stormed to her desk, blushing and frantically looking for some documents.

"Thanks, Rico" - Richard said with telief quitely. Marini smirked.

"Who said I was doing it for you?"

"Come on, everyone knows you're gay and you like me" - Richard grinned. Enrico choked.

"What!? For your information, I have wife and two kids..."

"Did it ever stop men from being gay?" - pointed Richard. Enrico sighted with defeat.

"No" - he muttered in defeat after a pause.

The door opened with a loud "BANG".

"We're back!" - announced Jill, throwing cola to everyone.

"Ouch!" - Brad squeaked as the can hit his else managed to catch their drinks and men saluted to Jill with cans in their hands. Chris and Wesker's cans were still unopened, and Jill's can was half empty.

"Whoah, you're fast. I could've believed you didn't do anything nasty..." - started Joseph evily.

"We didn't!" - Jill protested.

"...But seeng that Wesker's leather belt is missing and noticing that huge ass hickey on your neck and the unzipped fly on Chris's pants I say you three had fun" - ended Joseph.

"Again" - yawned Forest, throwing a paper aeroplane at Brad, who choked and spit his cola on his terrible yellow vest everyone hated, but Brad liked, saying it was his grandma's present for his 21 birthday.

"You just can't keep your hands off of each other, eh?" - smirked Richard, running a hand through his hair.

"A little advice: get laid" - said Wesker, walking to his desk and falling on his seat, purely contented. Chris glanced at Jill briefly, grinned at her and went to their shared desk, deciding to pretend he had work to do. Jill sat near him and tried to fill some reports, but Chris's hands somehow mysteriously found their way to her knees and distracted her from work.

"That's it! - growled Jill, breaking the sleepy atmosphere in the office and standing up. Chris melancholically eyed her before banging his head on the desk. - I think we need a nice vacation! - announced Valentine.

"A vacation? - Chris lift his head, his eyes lighting as if someone put a light bulb in his head and turned it on. - I want a vacation!". The men in the office seemed to wake up from their drosiness and were now looking at Wesker, as if wanting to hypnotize him.

"I know you want to. - said Jill, kissing him on the lips briefly. - We just have to ask Wesker nicely so he'll let us!"

"A vacation? - Wesker thoughtfully cracked his fingers. - I think it's not such a bad idea... But if I let you go on one, what will be my reward?.." - the captain smirked evily.

Jill took Chris by the collar of his shirt that he put on for some reason and rushed to Wesker, who had his shirt on now as well, grabbing him similiarly like Chris and dragging them out of the office.

"Your payment will be in the empty room next to the office" - stated Jill as they exited the office.

"So that's what Wesker's price list is..." - chuckled Enrico.

"How long do we have to wait for them?" - asked Richard. Forest yawned, making another paper aeroplane.

"If they didn't decide to play a role game with a hostage and two terrorists, about ten minutes" - answered Speyer.

_[Ten minutes later]_

"We're going to Paris!" - announced Jill, dragging Chris and Wesker back. Brad's jaw literally hit the floor.

"Paris? Why Paris?" - asked Joseph curiously.

"Because it's a very romantic place! Right, boys?" - she asked Chris and Wesker.

"The boys" were still panting so they could only nod.

"To Paris then! It's settled!" - cried Jill, letting go off Chris and Wesker, who fell to the floor, unconcious.

"Paris... Je t'aime..." - mumbled Wesker before loosing his conciousness completely. Jill looked at her captain with amusement.

"Didn't know he knew french" - she said, going to her desk.

Barry, who happened to come in the office and find his two teammates unconcious, sighted.

"Youth these days..." - mumbled our sandwich lover, polishing his magnum for the hundredth time already.

"Barry, we're going to Paris!" - announced Jill.

First time in new history Barry dropped his gun and stared at jill like she was a ghost or suddenly grew seven legs.

"We're going WHERE!?"

"To Paris. We have a vacation!"

"What have you done to our old Wesker so he let us all go!?" - asked Barry wide-eyes.

"You better not know. Well, first, I took off his pants, ran my hands down his perfect body, took off his boxers and took his..."

"TOO MUCH INFORMATION!" - yelled Forest and Joseph, their faces red with embarassment. Brad fainted.

"Oh, yeah, right... That figures" - mumbled Barry, picking up his gun an starting to polish it again.

He had a feeling this vacation was going to be something awesome and troublesome...


End file.
